2023, what a year! I held my first solo exhibition, saw one of my photos featured as the artwork on a beer can, took a trip to the UK to see my entire family for the first time since covid (and becoming a Mama), got a promotion at my day job (SwipedOn) to Brand & Content Manager, joined a panel talk with Betty Zine, had some of my photos featured in Our Place Magazine, created a brand new version of my Vitamin Sea calendar for 2024, and stepped out of my comfort zone and onto the other side of the lens with my very talented friend Grace. And to top it all off, I read one book. Yep, just the one.

People often ask me how I manage to juggle motherhood, work and creative projects. I think this is a really great indication 😂 As much as I’d love to be a book reader, it’s one of those hobbies that really takes the back seat. I love listening to poddies and I’ve sped through a couple of audio books. But I don’t read as much as I’d like to, and I’m also not very invested in TV series - apart from Love Island and Travel Guides. I know, I’m embarrassingly a basic bitch when it comes to TV, but since you all wondered what my secret is to this juggle… this plays a big part by prioritising creation and play over consumption. In saying that, I should try to read some of the titles on my book shelf in 2024 because books are so rad.

Commercial / brand photoshoots

I also had the opportunity to expand my portfolio of commercial work, combining 10+ years’ experience as a marketing professional with my passion for photography, I love to help small businesses tell their brand story through image. Clients I worked with in 2023 (featured below) include Rose’s Dining Table, Beyonder, Deep Creek Brewing Co, Anchor Me Postpartum, The Health Space, Matty Buxton Music, Vida McCord Naturopath (website coming soon), and Katie’s Beauty Room.

Spiritually, I got up close and personal with an eel and a morepork, spent more time exploring the forest, and experienced / completed my Level 1 reiki training.

It has not been a year of just highlights though. I’ve learned lessons in friendship, sisterhood and motherhood which has had a knock-on effect on my confidence to create. So I rested. I went round in circles. And I journalled.

I’d also set myself the goal of not buying clothes but I failed at that around April time and it was a slippery slope from there. And now I just have a full wardrobe and I feel overwhelmed. So ya know, trouble in paradise!

It’s givin’ Mean Girls

When someone enjoys success, why do we enjoy knocking them down?

One thing that came up for me, and that I’ve been seeing pop up on social media and IRL is tall poppy syndrome. Something I used to think was some kind of mythical concept because I love to celebrate people’s wins (I’m ya hype girl kinda girl 👋 ) so I couldn’t figure out why people would feel the need to sabotage others when they are enjoying success. It became more evident through 2022 and 2023 and was something that deeply affected my ability to create. What might others think of me? What if people think I’m ‘copying’ them or other people?

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a group of women gang up on a small business owner friend on her business’ social media when she launched a new product earlier in the year. Accusing her of copying another local woman. The other local woman spoke up saying she was upset because she felt her chocolate covered raw treats were her unique value proposition of her brand (they aren’t, I have a similar recipe in one of my raw cook books) and my friend was stealing her idea. I spoke up, shared it on my social media at how appalled I was, then other friends of mine spoke up condemning their behaviour. I don’t tend to get involved in social media comment wars but this one, being so public against my friend was totally uncalled for, especially when those other women commenting were not even trolls - they were other local women with faces, with children, with businesses here in the Bay.

It’s worth noting here that, while a product is an important part of what makes up your brand, it isn’t your brand. It’s your product. Many businesses will have the same product offering, that’s the nature of business. Your brand is made up of multiple components - design, messaging, photography, history and also personal reputation, which all come together to form a connection between your business and your target audience. Meaning that, if you’re a dick IRL, it can actually damage the appeal of your brand.

How to work through these ‘Tall Poppy’ feelings

There are many outdated ideals, projections and thoughts floating around in the collective subconscious which we must wake up to. I urge you to take a look at yourself and those around you and make a choice about how you celebrate others. Ensure it is never at the expense to cutting someone else down. If in doubt, think about saying what you are feeling out loud to the person in question. Imagine you are sat with them over a cuppa, what would their reaction be? Most likely it would be shock and would ruin any kind of friendship or professional relationship you have with them. We have to remember that no idea is original and that, if someone is ‘copying’ us, then dayum we must be doing something right.

As long as you are tapping into your most authentic and true self, it really doesn’t matter what someone else is doing. If they are acting in their most authentic way, good things will come for them. If they are not? It simply won’t be sustainable and they’ll move on.

Thank you, NEXT.

And heck, if someone is doing something similar to you creatively or in business, why not suggest a collab? Rather than sabotaging someone’s success and excitement, why not say - hey we are creating similar work, products, photos at the moment. I love what you’re doing! Shall we create something together? I truly believe in the power of collaboration. Because we are not all experts in the same fields, we have all lived different versions of this life. Now imagine bringing those experiences and talents together to create something… it would be pretty special IMO.

The female psyche is a complex place, and these thoughts are natural. Over the past two years I’ve seen them come up first-hand, felt them myself and had people speak to me about their experiences as creatives coming up against these challenges. But the power is within all of us to act and react in a way that is respectful to ourself and others. When I’ve searched for the answer, what I’ve seen and sensed, are that these feelings come from a place of deep insecurity.

The question now is, how will we raise our children to regulate this emotion and these thought patterns and delve inside to heal the insecurity they feel? How will we raise our children to support their peers rather than sabotage? What kind of generation are we raising if we are modelling the behaviour of pulling other people down when they succeed? Imagine a world where we all stay in our lane, we stay true to our authentic selves and support one another, what kind of powerful community might we create then? What if we forget about compensation and enjoy the success of our friends, knowing all too well that if we create a supportive environment, good things will come to us too?

The saying “What goes around, comes around” is used mostly to ward off negative behaviour, but we must remember it can be for good too. This year I’ve been working on supporting my friends with their small businesses, offering them help where I have the knowledge and expertise in areas they don’t feel confident. Not because I want something in return, but because I’m so excited to see them succeed and stand in all their power and for others to appreciate their talents.

On a selfish level, it’s made me feel so good to see them using my photos and taking my professional advice to make a difference in their businesses. But what I have noticed, is that somewhere along the way, random acts of kindness have come to me. The more I do nice things for people, nice people / experiences / offers come to me too. I think it’s called Karma. I’m here for it, but it’s never the original intention behind helping other people.

Walking through challenges

By the time we reached the back half of the year, I had managed to work through a lot of these things floating around in my head, mostly through journalling, retreating inwards and beginning to spend time in soulitude in nature or with women who truly light me up.

There have also been challenges in standing and acting within my own boundaries. As a person who typically doesn’t like to upset people, and will go out of my way not to, this has been really hard for me but it’s shed light on relationships which are not serving me (thank you Eclipse szn). On the flip side this has allowed me to see the abundance of incredible people who do exist in my life and focus on building those relationships.

There’s been a heck of a lot of journalling, healing and evolution. And I acknowledge that I am privileged to be in a position where I have the energy and brain space to consider these thoughts.

If you’ve faced challenges this year in relationships, know that you are not alone. Sometimes other people have too much going on in their own lives that they appear to drop off the radar. It’s not that they don't care for you any more, it might be that they have things they need to process themselves or higher priorities like kids, unwell family members or relationship struggles. Or, if they don’t care for you any more, perhaps you’ve drifted apart and it’s about finding peace with that. And that’s totally ok too.

Returning to a familiar place; the sea

Towards the end of the year, there’s even been a return to some of the activities I enjoyed pre-motherhood like an all-girls squad surf photoshoot and a summer sunrise spent with two wonderful wahine in turquoise long-boarding waves.

A reminder of the pure joy I feel in those moments, what it is that I really love about the people and activities I spend my energy and time on, and that this (aka motherhood) really is a season.

Perhaps our whole life is a series of seasons.

I even started to extend the Soulskin project for my exhibition earlier in the year, now with a new reiki lens on, feeling totally ready to return to the wild, a calling to work with certain women who have expressed interest in being a part of this ongoing creative series.

One day, maybe I’ll chase the surf and the ways of the waves again. But for now, I’m really happy to move away from that obsession and realise how many other wonderful places and experiences are on offer.

I won’t go into politics and war. It’s shit. It’s heartbreaking and it’s frustrating. We are not powerless. We can continue to wake up, to help spread our messages, to stand up for what we believe and help the world to wake up. But we must not compromise our ability to find joy in this life. I’ve watched myself and friends taken down by feeling powerless, by becoming engrossed in the happenings across the country and the world. If we feel powerless, if we feel helpless, how can we help the build a better world if we are not helping ourselves first? We must find ways to create impact because our messages are falling on deaf ears right now, but we need to feel strong - the best versions of ourselves - to do that. One thing I feel deeply is that the people are rising, the people are waking up to outdated ideals, projections and thoughts.

A little bit about 2022

I intentionally did not publish a year in review for 2022, as I always imagined my inaugural solo exhibition Soulskin; The Return to the Wild Self would be a way of wrapping up the year. 2022 was the year that my work became more personal and an expression of self. Prior, it had always been solely about travel, nature and women surfing (which I guess was an expression of self during that season).

In hindsight, I actually should have done a year in review for 2022 because I’m now thinking it was about so much more than the Soulskin project. I was welcomed onto the Fujifilm X-Photographer NZ team as an ambassador and had the opportunity to run two workshops with them. In recovery from post natal depression, I photographed nature when I could and I focused on creating empowering portraits of women in nature for my project, which formed the backbone of my recovery, as creativity began to pulse through my veins after a long time dormant. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to photograph my very own Mama as part of this series.

I’ll briefly share some creations from 2022 which showcases surf and nature beside portraiture work.

2022 was the year that a shift started to happen. I wanted to create, but it wasn’t just about nature and women surfing, because my life did not focus on those things solely any more. Perhaps my passions shifted alongside my priorities. I didn’t find the same solace in the ocean as I had once found and I began to retreat to the forest. I started to photograph women standing in their own innate, and raw natural power. Perhaps because I was too.

This new me was so familiar to me in many ways, but such a stranger to those who know my work or follow me on social media because they love the ocean and moon scenes I document and used to have a lot more space, energy and time to create.

We are all ever-evolving creatures. Our stories are fluid like water. We cannot be afraid to move forward for the sake of not being who others think we are any more. We cannot live as a reflection of other people’s expectations. What joys in this life might we miss out on if we don’t allow ourselves to blossom as we move through the seasons of life?

A few fave moments captured in 2023

I’ll leave you with my favourite stories from the wild captured through my lens in 2023; a visual diary of some special in-between moments, which have taken on a very new meaning for me now. No longer just in between night and day, or in between work and play, but moments carved or stolen away amidst parenting.

Producing less prolifically is challenging because it means I miss moments in the surf and the sky which I used to frequent more easily, but this is a reminder to myself that I can still enjoy these precious moments in nature in harmony with this season. For me, becoming a parent has made these moments so much richer - I appreciate every drop of them in all their glory more than ever before.

And seeing the world through my baby girl’s eyes? I always imagined I would be the one showing her the ways of the world, the ways of nature, teaching her all there is to know. How wrong I was. She has taught me to look closely as every blade of grass, to feel the sand between my toes, let seaweed tickle my feet and teaches me, time and again, what it is to be human.

As I reflect on the two years previous, I realise there has been so much growth and so much learning. I aim to stand in my creative power as we move into 2024 and surrender to all that will be. I will manifest for the highest good for the collective, create to heal, and share what I know so other people can experience, and share, the beauty of this world and its people in their own unique ways.

But above all else, I will be nurturing my daughter, my relationship with my partner and our little family. Because really, nothing matters as much as the people dearest to us.

Until next time. L x